Day 15 self love
Ok so today the books says for us not to be hard on ourselves, considering it is nearly midnight and I have yet to post, this is definitely in practice! It must know I always have my whipping stick at the ready.
Ok so it says the key is to accept who you are and create manageable and realistic goals - if you like to snack on chocolate all eve but you want to lose weight, don't be surprised if it isn't working out as you expected. Maybe just re-adjust your expectations. And make sure the odd chocolate bar is included in any diet plan you choose -I mean chocolate is a necessity after all?! (she says munching on a chocolate snack) Seriously though it's about knowing yourself and keeping expectations realistic. That doesn't mean don't shoot for the moon, but maybe do it in bitesize steps -join NASA, then buy a space suit? before leaping on the rocket.
Expectation is a key area to conquer as we master self love. Too high expectations and we are bound to be dissatisfied and feel useless when we aren't able to complete, and too low and we don't give ourselves enough credit to grow. For me I remember when I went for one audition years ago and it was expected by my friends and other colleagues at the time that I would get it (so much so they had started booking digs with the intention to include me)- as you can probably guess from this post I didn't get it and was subsequently devastated and my confidence at the time was shattered. I also felt this inadequacy because it had been expected that I would get it by everyone - I felt they must pity me, or feel they had got me wrong. It was an unbelievable learning curve. I mean it was tough as hell - but it helped me realise that expectation was the issue at stake here. I had focussed so much on the expectation, that was where my distress came from. When actually it was another job, albeit a good one, but if I hadn't pinned my hopes on it so highly and felt the weight of others expectations it would have just been another - "not quite the right fit" It made me really consider what is more important, and knowing I was ultimately in control of my reaction helped me learn that it was healthier for me to let it go, and know what is for me won't pass me - I'm great believer in that one. But also with that, let go of the expectation, still charge as hard and fast as I can for what I want, put all my energies in to my side of the bargain and then, knowing I have done all I can, rest easy that what will be will be. It's not always easy, but with practice I am mastering this! (I hope!) My main point is the kindest thing was to release myself from my expectations and the expectations of others and simply live, giving my best. It was like a weight lifted and has allowed me to enjoy things more and simply have experiences without feeling a need to judge them one way or the other. I can learn from them, but know it is all part of the journey.
Where are you holding tight to expectation? How is this helping you? Is it hurting you at all? Can you be more kind, and less hard on yourselves?