The last day! Triumph!
Self love day 21! So I did it! I mean I’m not suddenly sparkly like a unicorn, or a computer character regenerated, but I feel more alive and equipped to be kind to and look out for myself. It has been at times tough, always thought provoking and actually wonderfully stretching! I mean at the beginning I never would have thought I could write something everyday but I have learnt I can. And just taking it one day and one simple step at a time has definitely helped! I hope you have all been able to take something from the experience? If any of you would like to share I’d love to hear how its worked for you?! PM if you’d rather be anonymous. So I’ve learnt I there are certain elements I need to look after myself and looking out for myself is extremely important on not only my well being but in setting a courageous example for others-after all if they can see it’s ok to love themselves maybe there will be a bit more love in the world! I always said rather than world peace I would favour world happiness. Not because I want wars, disagreements or tension, but simply because happiness isn’t always there in peacetime and I felt happiness would make the world more full and loving. But I change my mind-I would wish for love-love drives out fear, enables us, encourages us and helps us love others. Love is what we need more of! And as we can only directly affect ourselves that is where we must start! So at the beginning I was a steady 5/10. Loving when I felt I was due love. Which I think has been born from society’s fear of seeming too cocky or having a lack of inner belief. I couldn’t help but over-hear a family in a restaurant and heard the grandfather say-“Do something to make grandad proud-eat all your chips!” As great an idea as this seems instilling in children the importance of finishing their meals it hurt me from a self love point of view that children feel they have to do something or be something to make parents or adults proud of them. I’m not entirely sure this is the message we really intend to send out but I think I have complexes about doing or being enough to make others proud or impressed with me and although well-meaning maybe we need to start at the beginning to ensure self love is natural. And therefore as well as loving ourselves we need to help others nurture their own self love-and as teaching an old dog new tricks can be hard maybe the place to start is with the younger generations-help them cultivate their self love-instead of their need to fit in with social media selfies! So today the book says self love is a habit-it needs practice and therefore needs to be given a place in our lives from now on. In the same way we lose muscle tone and definition if we don’t regularly hit the gym if we don’t regularly practice self love we may lapse again in to indifference or self loathing? Some tips it gives are really handy so I thought I’d pass them on:- * set up a routine to help yourself feel grounded in you! * get in to a gratitude habit-say thank you for all the good. After all we get more of what we focus on! * And with this when someone gives you a compliment say a simple thank you and accept it, rather than feeling need to self depreciate. * Reign in judgement and criticism of others. Find yourself complimenting them instead-no doubt it will come back to you too! * Set an intention every morning on what aspect of self love you intend to focus on that day and stick to it! * Journal-get all those thoughts out-free yourself from your fears and start to write down your dreams. After all a goal is a dream with a date! * Factor in self care time-possibly grooming time-appreciating yourself can be a way of admitting you are worth the time. Apparently Japanese researchers found people who use cosmetics have higher levels of happiness, presumably because they know they are worth being cared for? * Stand up for yourself and what you believe in. Don’t be swayed from who you are by others criticism. Doubtless they also talk to themselves like that, have compassion and rise above it. And remember if it’s not true, kind or helpful you don’t need it! * Meditate daily-either formally or informally-the more you are in the moment the more you can truly be yourself and enjoy it! * Share your struggle-enlist help from others-never know they might develop a self love habit too! Thank you to those who have read to the end, and joined me on this journey. Let’s celebrate the time we have dedicated to ourselves in this way and our learning on this path! Now how will you be celebrating?! I think I’ll start by scheduling in some self love for tomorrow! Though honestly I also sent myself a bunch of flowers-with a note to remind myself to be self loving! As I am often travelling for work they are arriving tomorrow, but I have heard of the idea of sending flowers to yourself on a random future date-but organising them now-so it will be a cheery reminder of your loving kindness to yourself! So that might also be an idea. Do what works for you! After all you know yourself so much better now! Good luck! And keep loving!